♥ ♥ ♥ The Big V-Day ♥ ♥ ♥

For most men, this is the most stressful day of the year. Every story is screaming "buy your woman a red present with a heart on it". But WTH are you really supposed to do?

If you are a confident woman, you probably know what you want for Valentine's Day. These wants may include but are not limited to:

• Dinner (homemade by your man, or at your fave spot)
• Jewelry (I'm sure anything in a box would make her swoon)
• Flowers (a single rose in a vase...or a whole freakin rose bush)
• or wine...

Those are some of the most popular presents that women receive on this HOLY HEART day.

BORING!!!!

Ladies...help that poor sap out. Do you really want all those things? Or do you see the other women in your office getting them and think you want them. This day should be enjoyable for you both...make your own traditions and quit complaining that your man doesn't understand you. Maybe you aren't taking the time to understand your man.

• He is stressed out... - Should I get flowers or chocolate. Or should I not get flowers because they will die and then V-Day would be kind of morbid. Chocolate? Or is she on a diet?
• He is on a budget... - I would love to get her jewelry...but those diamond earrings and dinner??? How in the world am I supposed to decide?
• He is feeling like this is a little one sided... -if I go through all this, she is still going to want the opposite of what I got. Hey, is she even going to get me anything? Sheesh!

I say, make your own tradition. Jason and I decided that it shouldn't be a big, stressful, red and pink day. We got matching shirts from Psych. It is our favorite TV show and we are always giggling when we say the quotes in random conversation. It will be something we can enjoy, remember, and use any day of the year. That's why I love him, because we can be "us" together. Everyday!

Dude...I'm not knocking you if you want your girl to see this in the morning...

But Ladies...if this is what he gives you...

Be grateful that he is there to see your heart melt, and hug him as hard as you can! Tell him you love him and mess up those sheets, you crazy kids!

OMG...too funny! If you mouth the words
it looks like you are say I LOVE YOU!
SteFunny♥

P.S. This was not meant to be a blog about man/woman relationships. If you have a different equation in your relation, I ♥ you too! Happy Valentine's Day to you and your lover (no matter what kind of "parts" they have)!
Pic Shout Outs: Lovely Stairs, Vintage Love, Snow Heart, Olive Juice

Tax Return Wish List

Yup...its GIVE ME SOME MONEY season. Hopefully you do not owe the government anything. This is the season to repay all those hard working employees who sacrifice their time all year long to America!

I let them take my money all year long. I claim single and 1 so that they take a lot during the year. There is much controversy on whether the government should have your money during year, or you keep it in your bank. But for me, it is better that they hold onto it for me. I like that hunk of change at the end of the year.

Its fun making my wish list every year. Many times my list is small due to big things I need to pay off or owe. Usually a hunk of it goes to medical bills (I'm still not used to paying them since my medical was free for so long- thank you Marine Corps).

This year I want:

• an I-Pad or other tablet device
• Put money in savings
• Someone in my house needs a new phone
• The grown ups could use some fun new clothes and shoes

This year I need to:

• Pay off some medical bills
• Catch up on some moving expenses
• Put a bunch in savings (want and need)

Hopefully we can use some of that money in savings later in 2012 for a really fun adventure!

No matter what you decide to do with your tax money, use some of it for yourself, some for people you love (even if it just taking them out to dinner), and put some away for a rainy day.

Thank you Uncle Sam...I hope! Wish me luck...

SteFunny♥

Workin on it...

Don't worry...I'll be back in a day or so. I'm sure you all can understand

• work
• softball
• dance
• b-day parties
• Super Bowl
• work
• laundry
• 3 short people
• and my bff and love of my life

Don't worry...I'll be back, just gotta give me a second :-)

SteFunny♥

Black History Month...for a white person

If you went to high school with me, you probably know that I was one of very few white people in our graduating class. I went to a magnet school in Kansas City. The magnet program bused the suburban kids into the inner city - yah I rode a short bus my freshman year - lol! Until they lost funding.

That's me on the left...this was after our Senior Pep Rally before Homecoming

My parents drove me, I caught a ride, or when I got older I drove my dads rusty Winnebago van 45 mins each way in rush hour traffic from Raymore to downtown KC. I'm still trying to figure out what my parents were thinking (but I guess gas was cheaper back then). Our school district lost accreditation the year after we graduated.

 I may not have had the best education, but I learned A LOT about life.

More than I could ever explain.

I married a black man when I was in the Marine Corps and had 2 beautiful children. We were stationed in South Carolina when I had Lexi. The state of SC says that your child's race on their birth certificate should be the same as the mother. So on paper, Lexi is white...






We had Xander in Kansas. The state of KS says that your child's race on their birth certificate should be the same as the father. So on paper, Xander is black...





We both agreed that we would not focus on what color they were. As they got older, all they knew is that everyone was different shades of brown. Now that they are both in school, questions have surfaced...especially during Black History Month.

I am proud to say that I have raised my kids to know each person for who they are instead of what color their skin is. We will talk about the sacrifices, the struggles, and the legacy of their ancestors when they are ready to understand. I want them to be proud of who they are, both black and white.

 May you always live free, without judgement...enough said!

SteFunny♥
Go Blue Eagles!

VPL...do guys really care?

What in the world is a VPL?

 If you are a woman, you worry about this every time you put on a pair of pants...you turn around in look at your butt in the mirror.

Are they there? EEK!!!

Visible Panty Lines, its a curse...

but do we really need to worry?

Do guys even notice them?

If you are like me, you probably have multiple styles of undies in your unmentionables drawer. It has taken me 20 years to figure out what underwear actually worked and which ones I needed to retire to only when Aunt FLOW was in town.

In the link above it explains in laments terms what each pair of panties is for. Here is my version:

• Briefs: try not to get ones that look like your grandma's. Stay away from Classic, High-cut, and Control Panties. Boyshorts...good to go!
• Hipsters: you can find cute ones at Target...but be careful, you may still end up looking like the blue haired lady next door if you don't get the right style.
• Bikinis and String Bikinis: the 80's introduction to the popularity of thongs. They showed a little more leg, but steer clear. Retro is not cute in the undies department.
• Tangas: Much cuter, more modern version of the bikini. These are safe as long as you don't have a BAND around your waist. Be picky.
• Thongs: These will get rid of your panty lines unless they are too tight, then you get the dunlap affect. Be careful, if you get ones with a thick "butt crack band" your badonka will not be your friend by the end of the night.
• G-Strings: The thinner the "butt crack band" the better. Hey, if you aren't scared of what you look like without pants on, rock them! 

I recently found the most disturbing pair of britches I've ever came across. You have to look at this article. Told you it was disturbing. Tell me if you own a pair...I would love to hear all about it!

But back to my earlier question. Do guys even notice them? I took a poll in my house, Jason said, "not when they are walking around, but maybe I can see them when they bend over sometimes." LOL! Just do what is comfortable to you...but please don't leave the house looking like this...

The Four Buttocks effect
is NEVER ok!

If you look in your guys drawer, pile, area of the closet, or wherever he keeps his knickers,

there are only 4 kinds that he needs to worry about 

boxers

briefs

boxer-briefs

and ones with holes in them

But no matter which style they choose, they always look pretty great (if I do say so myself). Guys...close your eyes...

I couldn't help myself...those are smokin' hawt (I haven't stopped giggling yet)

SteFunny

Teacher, Coach, Motivator, Parent...oh JOY!

I am so proud to be all 4, a teacher, coach, motivator, and a parent. If you have a job influencing children, there is no great joy than watching them succeed, knowing you had a tiny part in getting them there!

This blog was sparked from my softball team, the KC Dirt Devils. We have been practicing for a long time...just practicing. There is nothing more frustrating as an athlete than busting your butt with no games in the near future. We practiced from Sept-Oct, took Nov and Dec off, Jan we are back in full force getting ready for tournament ball in April. These are going to be the longest 4 months of these players' lives.

Each child, no matter if they are on a team or in your family, has a very important role. They might not be the best athlete or the fastest at doing their chores, but each bring their special part to complete the puzzle.

On a team, you will have:

• The leaders: they know every position and help to teach other kids by showing or setting a good example.
• The jocks: they are the natural athletes that always get the job done.
• The hustlers: they may not be as good as the jocks, or know how to help others, but they will always move quickly and try their best no matter what.
• The specialist: they might not be your best all around player, but they do their specific job to help hold the team together and allow other players to do their job.
• The space cadets: they are out there...SQUIRREL!!!
• The motivators: they help keep the teams spirits up even when they may be struggling.

Each kid might me one or more of those. Lexi is a motivator/space cadet - but hey, she's the coaches daughter...what else do you expect. The longer she plays, her role might change. At home she is my leader/specialist. Jason is my jock/motivator...♥ you! (hey, I had to give him a shout out, couldn't do it without him!)

Which ever role you have taken on, know that you are needed to help make the world go around. Ok, that was cheesy! LOL! Wish us luck on our first year of competitive softball! I am so proud of all my little Dirt Devils.

SteFunny♥

Working in the Work Out

It's almost the end of January. Have you been successful with your New Years Resolutions? Or are you still sitting on your couch looking at your computer? No, don't turn it off now...you are already here ♥

Over the years I have made many resolutions that have gone uncompleted. Cleaning the house more, putting on lotion everyday, doing more fun stuff with my kids. Sure, I do my best for a week or so. Or remember in June that I was going to do it. This year I thought I was going to work out more (who's with me?)

Bruce and I bought P90X last year, did it for almost a month - full blown. Did the diet, the workouts, cut back on beer, quit smoking...then I got sick and I had to stop. They never did figure out what was wrong. But it was hard for me to get back started.

So 2012 was going to be my year to get really in shape. I was visualizing my success. Looking at pictures of in-shape women, thinking about the summer when I will be able to show of my new BOD! I had marked which workouts I needed to do everyday in my calendar.

I was doing it...but it only lasted for 3 days!

Take a picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror.

What do you want to fix? (other than needing a tan)

Then look at that picture and GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Sometimes just thinking about working out seems harder than actually doing it.  Here are some exercises you are probably already doing everyday.

• Stair Stepping - just walk up and down your stairs a couple extra times, or take the stairs at work instead of the elevator.
• Lifting Weights - carrying laundry baskets and taking out the garbage, they are heavy aren't they? I consider that lifting weights.
• Squats - everytime you sit down or stand up out of a chair you are doing squats. Just throw 10 of them in each time you are ready to sit down.

No matter which workout you decide to do, how many times a week you decide to do it, and what your goals in the end are, the most important part is to get it done.

"People always say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily." ~ Zig Zagler

Just make sure you love yourself and love your body...and don't talk down to yourself because you aren't where you want to be yet. Keep working in your work out and eat that piece of cake...just don't eat the whole cake!

Then if all else fails,
put your head on some other chicks body!
SteFunny♥

True Dat!!!

It is true...what is? That is...  TRUE DAT!!!

This is some random humor for what is on my brain today!

Say it with me, True Dat! Probably the most accurate statement I have heard all day! Someday I will do a blog on my calendar - holy cow, that one will be NUTS!

I tried to come up with something clever for the S S at the end of the calender (Same Shyt - too boring), (Soul Sucking - true, but a little morbid for the weekend), (Strikingly Stupendous - say it out loud...why did it take so long to get all the syllables out???)

True Dat...and NO, I do not want a chilled glass on the side. Why is it considered tacky for a female to drink beer out of a bottle at a restaurant. Hell, bring it to me in a can!

Another thing about beer...to all of those who say "I don't like how beer tastes,"

You aren't supposed to TASTE it,

you are supposed to DRINK it!

Man Up and throw one back...it will be refreshingly bad azz of you...



You know that's right! I do zero things correctly until I can smell it brewing. I only have 2-3 cups a day, but man they help with my ability to function. True Dat!

My man makes coffee stronger than Brian Shaw, and my dad makes coffee as weak as a dying flea...me, I'm kind of in between kinda gal.

BTW...I take 2 blue sugars and no cream (unless you have a fun flavor).

Coming from the kid on the unicorn bike, "Haters gonna hate" - you can't get more TRUE than DAT!

Love yourself, be original, and don't worry about what other people think.

"Do not go where the path may lead,

go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just don't leave behind "that" kind of trail - True Dat!

SteFunny ♥

Photo Shout Outs, W T F, Yes Beer, Unicorn Bike, and Holler Back if the other ones are yours. Thanks!

Must I count you down AGAIN!!! 1...2...

THREE!!! The magic number that no child related to me wants to hear. Only a few actually know what happens when I get to 3, apparently the others have been "warned"!

Xander & Jordan Before

Lexi Before

Living Room Before

Every night I come home, our humble abode looks like a "toy burglar" came in and dumped all the toy boxes on the floor trying to find the illusive Lego Spiderman. The "homework police" has ripped apart every backpack looking for evidence of a studious child. The "food rapper" was spittin' a fruit snack flow, and some burger time rhymes. Oh, and apparently we should be in the market for a Willy Wonka hand grabber coat rack.

I beg and plead that they clean up their stuff, only to have:

• One blame the other for the mess
• They tune everyone out and zone in on the TV
• They complain that they just need to finish this level or they will lose the game
• The hunger pains take ahold of them and wont let go
• And they cry and whine thinking that I am going to give in...

Should I, should I give in to their cuteness, should I give them a break from their horribly demanding list of chores (psych)? <Insert Marine Corps Drill Instructor here>! YOU ARE DONE! Get your butts up and start cleaning. You will still hear some faint whining in the background...then privileges start getting threatened...oh, now they want to clean. Sure...

Too late, Mom has already lost it. Lost what you ask? I can't remember because I haven't had it for so long. I start flippin racks (my devil dogs understand). Go ahead and complain - now you have to clean your room. You want to clean the garage too? That's my favorite threat. Uh, EXCUSE ME??? I KNOW I AM NOT TALKING TO MYSELF. Then there is silence...

Need to get some ideas for age appropriate chores? Check this out.

Xander & Jordan After

Lexi After

Living Room After

Miraculously I begin seeing floors. Laundry gets taken downstairs and sorted. Tables start getting wiped down. Finally, we are almost done! It may not be cleaned as good as I wanted...but hey, its pretty good for a 9, 7, and 4 year old. Gosh I love those kids!

SteFunny ♥

P.S. I dyed my hair and shaved my legs...thought you might enjoy this...

Girl Scout Cookes...Eating by the Sleeve

Are you happy that you got your cookies on the spot this year? Instead of waiting forever for your check to get cashed and then even longer to get your cookies. By the time the cookies were delivered, you had already started your New Year's Resolution.

Well, to all my fellow cookie moms...I feel your pain. I have went over receipts and counted cookies a million times! Still, I can't get everything to come out right! AAAHHH!!! So back to the drawing board I go, I am thankful that I didn't choose a career where I handled money everyday.

I am so grateful for the Girl Scouts, I was one for a long time. I loved every minute of it. I just don't remember it being so stressful back then. I am so proud of Lexi, she has been able to participate in so many activities that we wouldn't have been able to do with out our Troop. Did I mention that we love to CAMP!!! Thank God my nieces have decided to join as well - I'm a proud aunt! (does that mean I have to buy boxes from them next year too?)

Not going to lie to you...Girl Scout Cookies are the death of me. I volunteered to be the cookie mom this year. I'm doing my best and honestly...I SUCK!!!!

Yes this is a short blog, I have a cookie deadline - Brownie vests in Raymore are depending on me. Must get this right so they get the patches they earned for all their hard work (even though the parents sell most of them).

Thanks to everyone who bought cookies from my cute little Girl Scout! Be a proud sleeve eater...I'll hit you up again next year. BTW - if you have some boxes that you haven't eaten yet, they freeze wonderfully! We start selling again around Halloween! Get HUNGRY!!!

SteFunny♥